TheVillageRetard

ben

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Imprints in the Snow by TheVillageRetard, literature

Literature

Imprints in the Snow

A reason to lift my head off the pillow, life my body off the groud, lift my eyelids from the matinee in my head. There is a way to show your feelings without halmark cards and roses. sweat spills, spitting songs, and bloody fingers broken strings, sticks, and bloodshot eyes ripping vocal chords, streching wide eyes, closed working, playing, making, creating learning, loving, leaving, longing calling, crying, no ones coming leaving, coming, bleeding, breaking crashing, waking, laying thinking staring, singing, staring, sleeping dreaming of you, because what I want in not what you do. Living in New England can leave you empty

Seatbelts and Oceans by TheVillageRetard, literature

Literature

Seatbelts and Oceans

I. "Please fasten your seatbelts and turn off all electronic devices." The sky was never so blue: deep, dark, and deaf, like the ocean in December or the voice of a child. Life the one that diagnoled my friend. Her eyes filled with water as she looked at him. He pretended he didn't see her. II. She held onto the armrest. Her mother wasn't there to protect her. "Don't cry child." I would say. "You'll be landing soon." The oxygen collapsed And I... III. Stars flickered in the window and in her eyes tears ran down her innocent cheeks. "Please take the oxygen..." IV. I looked in the window and smiled. John's face re

Cutting. by TheVillageRetard, literature

Memory. by TheVillageRetard, literature

Literature

Memory.

remember those times in the yard? you hit the softball so far. your sister was there with flowers in her hair. 'tuesday's gone' played from my wagon. i looked in your eyes and smiled. the summer days when things were perfect. so beautiful. the smell of fresh cut grass. some of our team is dead now, did you hear? yes, they died a few years ago. the ones you were so close to thirty years ago. i forgot what he looked like until i saw his photo in the newspaper the day before last. driving through paintings of red white and blue. cranberries, snow, and your old jeans pap gave you. get out and push or this thing won't start. h

Hiding. by TheVillageRetard, literature

Open Road II by TheVillageRetard, literature

Literature

Open Road II

I'm leaving for California tomorrow. Get in the bus and jump the interstate. Drive for miles and days. Listening to CD's from years ago. I'm leaving you here, I'm sorry I was such a jerk. But I'm leaving tomorrow and the sunrise will bare my goodbyes. Don't cry, for I'll be home before the clouds fall. So I can live with you for a few more weeks. Days. Don't cry, we'll live on and our memories will be locked in a trapdoor in the back of your brain and your heart. It will bleed with desire to see things I'll see tomorrow in California. The sand blows unto the interstate and Paul played our anthems in the back seat. Where we sl

This Town by TheVillageRetard, literature

Literature

This Town

We're fucked up kids in a town where thinking is a plague and the only cure is to leave. We're leaving, but my heart remains with you. Details and daffodils girlfriends and green grass, breakups and black skies, heart breaks then heaven breaks: the sky cries hellos and goodbyes. Cheap dinners spending hours gazing into your face. Singing songs, preparing poems. I'll write about snow, how the only time I kiss you in it wasn't even real. Driving home discouraged, leaving school late learn how to live again and again.

The Open Road I by TheVillageRetard, literature

Literature

The Open Road I

the open road. the escape to limbo. we're running from our futures and our pasts are taped against the walls of this old van. pictures and poems of past lives just look and laugh. we were so naive. so stupid and innocent. and i'm still laughing. do you think you're special? everyone has gone through this. this feeling of regret you'll always miss this walk across a stage that no one will remember. atleast i won't. the open road: letters to your mom stuffed in mailboxes halfway across the world. postmarked for tomorrow. only family matters here. away from the drama that was so near and dear to you, as you held your beer.

'forever' by TheVillageRetard, literature

Literature

'forever'

with fall on your fingertips i hope your not scared i hope your not sad. hold onto your tears for when the sun comes out. you'll need them. hold my hand now brother sister. hold my hand and pray for the memories you'll never forget the times of your life. i saw you: bloodshot and teary eyed. you were limp like something i've never seen. do this for me: hold me now. because you won't have me soon. i miss you.

When I Said. by TheVillageRetard, literature

Literature

When I Said.

i don't belong here. please change my mind. your eyes they have a way with my heart and its strikes me as strange that you don't fall under the same spell from looking through your dark, green eyes all day. i cherish you. i listened, but heard nothing. when you explained yourself i just laughed and i'll confess, i cried. you were right? we aren't meant to know. you won't let me see behind your dark, green eyes. i saw you. don't do this. you'll lose everything you always needed but never wanted. i can control myself. contrary to earlier beliefs. i hope your thinking and i hope you feel. and i hope you heard me when i s

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'A Muted World' by TheVillageRetard, literature

Literature

'A Muted World'

I don't know these people. Their world of illusion amazes me. Pain streams out from our vocal chords. What are we singing for? A temporary happiness makes the heart grow stronger. Go back to your homes. Hell still lingers here. Your still going to die. Faces portray a silent evil. I love you God. Now kill me. Saint Isidore our savior, the light that shines from above. Falling closer to the mirror of the heavens. We're falling. Save me Isidore, save us. God kill me now. Take from me my guitar. My voice, my smile. They sneak up from behind. Grab my neck and squeeze. Until blood falls on to my dress shirt. Why didn't you

'Angel' by TheVillageRetard, literature

Literature

'Angel'

Once upon a midnight dreary, while she pondered, weak and weary I lay awake, both eyes shut, how late twas the night. And oh how her cries cut. She cried me a tear, a tear and a river, a river of regret, she cried as she quivered. Concerned of the future, my mind did race. Twas it lost, a hopeless case? Sweet love of mine, I whispered, there's one of your kind and my soul is so littered. I'm sorry I was so bitter. She said nothing, and my heart sank so low. As low as I knew my heart could go. "Remember those times?" I said with a smile. "No more than memories, oh dear, those past miles." A tear from my eye. One single drop. How coul

'the edge' by TheVillageRetard, literature

Literature

'the edge'

i'm content where i stand on the edge of darkness a knife protects me i am the edge on the edge of the sun the light burns with a passion the light will never fade out it is nothing like this here the darkness is a blur the light is a mirror i love you i breath you when will it begin the slow decention the rise and fall like waves on high the waves burst through the edge all i'd like to think is washed away by your beauty this is the edge these are the waves fall in line

'scribe' by TheVillageRetard, literature

Literature

'scribe'

what were you to me? an escape goat? i think not. more of a safe haven for my misfortunes. as i was for you. the days cut fast your misfortunes flow onto paper as i transcribe before you as i wait for you i will wait for you. thrown from the normal again or was the latter the norm? it was the future which will be remembered. today is nothing. will you ask for me again? i will never know until then until the days are full of gysers until the ink dries until i go to bed thinking of you again until you fall asleep longing for nothing. wanting nothing. breathing me. the taste of ink is still putrid in your hair. i see it r

'A Dream' by TheVillageRetard, literature

Literature

'A Dream'

is it ok if i hold your hand? live this moment for just a few more seconds go by slow but my memory is flying without you here. and then i wake up. my fingerprints are still present on my piano keys. your touch i long for. i fell deep inside my music box. is it ok if i live this hope? this serenade for the future. dream your dreams because this is just a dream. breathe down your neck. lay beside you. can i sleep with you tonight? naked. all this is too much. too little. too far. your too far. your too far. i'm too far. i'll be home soon. just leave the door unlocked and pray to God i arrive.

'love of this kind' by TheVillageRetard, literature

'The Life of a Sin' by TheVillageRetard, literature

'Winter' by TheVillageRetard, literature

'before i do' by TheVillageRetard, literature

Literature

'before i do'

how are things these days? i hope everything is great (i hope everything is fine) hows that boy you know? i hope hes treating you well (i hope hes treating you good) do me a favor (don't lie to me) tell me what you feel tell me would you kill? (don't lie to) me. i know all you've done (all you've done, all you've said) so don't lie (to me) bite your lip (harder) don't look back (it gets harder) you could leave now (don't look back) just don't look back (just leave now) don't look back chase these lies with vodka filled cups drown your hopes in small vaudeville plays i know you have things to do (i know you hav

'And maybe I'm sorry' by TheVillageRetard, literature

Literature

'And maybe I'm sorry'

or maybe i was wrong and maybe i'm sorry but you have to admit these days were hard for anyone to live through. please except the apology i plan to give you on a beach or a boat or a floor. sitting crosslegged with nothing to do but talk and talk. looking in your eyes i see myself or something like that. i want to hold you but i dont know how to. i know its wrong i know i was wrong and i just dont know how to say sorry.

Watchers 5

helloassholes

lovesparky

timetheory

xdresden

casseopia

Watching 7

creakingdoorent

once-upon-a-time

helloassholes

timetheory

greenspoon-poetry

xdresden

casseopia

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About TheVillageRetard

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United States
Deviant for 19 years
www.lifeonfilm.tk
He / Him

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My Bio

Current Residence: Mashpee, MA
Favourite genre of music: emo, classicrock, classical, jazz, hardcore
Shell of choice: Painted turtle
Skin of choice: Tastes like cherries...
Personal Quote: i love you.

Favourite Movies

fightclub, thelovebug, thevillage

Favourite Bands / Musical Artists

thirdeyeblind, thursday, billy joel

Favourite Writers

paul conlon, stephan jenkins

Tools of the Trade

baldwin upright piano.

Other Interests

piano, writting, hanging out with niggas

Posts

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TheVillageRetard

Feb 14, 2005

Finishing What I Started.

0 min read

I had four church gigs the past week. It was easy money and I got to hang out with God. My family is having a "family game night" I guess you could say. I wasn't invited. I feel bad sometimes about not spending enough time with them. I made a fool of myself last time. Trying to get back with Ryan. Sometimes I hate myself. Well I'm going to clean my room and listen to Cursive and go to bed early. Two shows tomorrow. I'm happy I'm getting all this stuff over with. xoxo.benxxx.

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TheVillageRetard

Feb 12, 2005

Giving In.

0 min read

I have neglected to post my lifes events on this journal the past month. I have become a slave to the "myspace" world. It seems as though I'm giving in to conformity. I guess it's not that bad. Well, life. Life. Life. It's been busy. Musicals, and music, school and school work, friends and nights out. I don't think I allowed myself enough time this year to chill and be chill. I've been running around playing piano for everyone in Mashpee the past few months and I'm going crazy. I'm busy and lonely. I really want a "romance" in the words of Paul. I really want a female I can "call my own" and "be with". I don't about the sexual aspect. I care

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TheVillageRetard

Jan 6, 2005

All These Things

0 min read

I love you too much. Benton Falls makes me happy. And sad. Well its been a long time since my last journal. I don't really have much to say. The everchanging drama in Barnstable is at a level where I can finally breath. I'm friends with both Brittaney and Ryan. Ryan and I are the main characters in Bryan's new movie, "Ada Can You Hear Me?". It's a drama about a kid going through his last year of high school. It really hits home. I probably won't have trouble crying. We ran through the script last night. It was very cool. Pat, Lindsay, Ryan, and Bryan were there. I really like the people in the cast. I can't wait to practice again. Brittaney a

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Profile Comments 6

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xdresden

Dec 30, 2004

i fucking miss you so effing much.
iloveyou.

love,
kelsi

XfuckyourmomX

Sep 2, 2004

yo motha fucka whats crackin dog, jk i am sayin hi, you were sweet at the show breaking the PA and all haha too funny dude. well i gots to gets

casseopia

Aug 6, 2004

Ben, go to my webpage, and look at my new deviation (evan). that's from yesterday, when we saw him. but, save it, and then make it, too, as your new deviation. watch what kind of deviation you put it as, because it only makes certain kinds of photography "in the gallery." just lie, and say that it's some other kind of photography.

Love,

Paul.

greenspoon-poetry

Aug 3, 2004

thanks for watching me!! i appreciate it lots

TheVillageRetard

Jul 31, 2004

I entered 'A Muted World' to my deviation gallery. I put one short poem in my scraps section. I'll do more later, but I have family from connecticut here. I'm thinking I'm going to tell my life story sometime soon. Hope you enjoy the little I have on here so far. Ben.

TheVillageRetard

Jul 31, 2004

Hey all you beautiful people. I'm really bored so I thought I might start one of these supercool and extratrendy things. I plan to put on my poetry that I have written sometime soon for all to view. It may take a while but I'm going to start learning all the crazy ass shit I can do on this little thing. I'm going to get started typing my poems and submitting them. Much love. Ben.